The Harkonnen Kid

I tended bar at a communion today.. it was a decent group of folks, and the shift passed uneventfully... for the most part.

There was a little boy at the party who struck me as slightly... um... psychotic peculiar.

For one thing, he remained aloof from all of the other children, choosing not to play with them, talk to them, or, for that matter, any where near them.

As soon as he walked into the room where the party was being held, he walked directly up to the mirrored post that was actually touching the front corner of my bar, placed his nose against the glass, and began talking to himself.

For the first minute or so, it didn't seem all that strange... it was a 'kid' thing to do....

After about five minutes had passed, it started to seem a bit odd to me, to be honest. To be frank, I began to wish that he would stop that and go away..

I asked him, "See anybody familiar in there?"

He rolled one baleful eye in my direction, fixed a rather bland, lifeless insane uninterested stare on me for a few moments, and, apparently deciding that I did not rate a reply simply returned to his 'conversation'.

He began to wiggle and squirm... all the while talking and whispering to himself at extreme close-up.... then he began to kiss himself...

This sort of put me off.... it seemed disturbing in some vague, non-specific way... (kill your entire family!! Kill them ALL!!) so I decided to turn my attention elsewhere. I busied myself with the myriad tasks of tending bar for a number of people... serving drinks, doing sidework and the constant cleanup and maintenance that is necessary to keep the bar spotless (I like to work behind a clean bar... not a swamp....).

After about 30 minutes or so, I checked on the kid... mostly in the mis-guided hope, I suppose, that he had quit doing whatever the frig that was and had moved on to eat the plastic plants or steal from his granny's purse, or whatever it is that disturbingly weird kids do to pacify themselves... but, sadly, he was still at his post (literally), but now he was licking the mirror and sort of humping the post... this is in full view, mind you, of a room of perhaps one hundred people...

At this point, several small blood vessels in my eyes and brain ruptured and began to bleed and my skin began to crawl... the kid was freakin' me out!!

The party chugged along, with guests dancing, eating, laughing, drinking and socializing... all of the things that one would expect to see happening at a party... and good old Tom (the kid), simply stood there... a scant three feet away from me.... and gave his mirror image a tongue-bath and a good sound humping while he constantly whispered sweet nothings to himself...

I'm not really sure what that whole thing was about, but I am glad that I am not that kid's mirror... stuffed animal... live animal.... or anything else..

I drew a picture of him, which is above. It was drawn with the mouse, so its a wee bit wonky... but its a fair likeness nonetheless... this way, when he appears on CNN after whatever tragic occurrence he orchestrates, you will be able to recognize him!

There. I have done my civic duty; You have been warned.

Goodnight, and thank you for playing!!

Good EVE-en-ing!!